


Why Should We Live Forever?

by Tears_Scars_and_Heartstrings



Category: The X-Files
Genre: AU rest of story, Afterlife, Author's Universe, Broken Heart, Death, F/M, Fluff, Found, Holding On, Immortal Scully, Immortality, Loss, Lost - Freeform, Love, Major Character Death(s), Major character death - Freeform, Memories, Mortal Mulder, Mostly AU still though, Religious Content, Romance, S03e04 slight spoilers, Sad, Slight spoilers, Songfic in some parts, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal actions, Wondering what is real and not, eternal love, letting go, life - Freeform, some smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 08:05:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10158233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tears_Scars_and_Heartstrings/pseuds/Tears_Scars_and_Heartstrings
Summary: Partial spoilers for S03 E04 but AU otherwise.Scully is immortal just as Bruckman warned her but she brushed off his words. Now she learns he was correct and she cannot die. Now she struggles with what to do. She searches on how to rid herself of immortality, trying and questioning everything as she continues to remain trapped in time and Mulder ages. She only wants a normal life for her and Mulder and yet every day she knows it will not happen as signs of aging creep over him and threaten to rip him away. It all becomes a question not of "if" but "when."





	

_“You don’t.”_

 

The words rang in her ears as she felt an impact in her chest and she collapsed. Her breath was gone and warmth was fleeing her body. Numbly she could hear her name being called. Through blurry vision she saw a dark figure approaching her. She tried to speak his name, whether it was him or not. Her strength failed her and her world went entirely black.

 

_“How will I die?”_

_“You don’t.”_

 

Breath flooded her lungs. Screams exited her throat. Light flooded her eyes and frantically she looked around, tearing away and the machinery and clothing on her for it all felt so foreign and threatening. Doctors rushed in and set to calming her which took some moments. She called his name and she heard him cuss out a doctor to move so he could see her. He was at her side now and she calmed even more within. The doctors cleared out of the room to allow her a few moments.

“Why so many doctors?” She asked. Mulder’s face was grim.

“Because…You…you being here…is nothing less than a miracle…” he could hardly whisper. His breath and entire being shook as he reached for her, longingly, begging her permission to touch her. She reached forward and he embraced her. He kissed her head over and over again.

“I didn’t see that bastard…I nearly lost you…” she realized he was saying and that tears were falling from his eyes. He mentioned as well that he killed the suspect that shot her, the one as it turned out, to be responsible for the X-File they had been working on in the first place. He had set a trap for them and waited, shot Scully from behind which quickly lead to his murder by Mulder. Scully took heavy breaths. She felt grateful to have them yet it didn’t quite feel necessary. She looked over at the machinery around her. Everything was there as it should be for the treatment of a GSW-Gun Shot Wound- victim should be but something was off. She looked at her chest where the bullet had gone through and realized she wasn’t hurting. At all. She put her hands on her chest and felt the area but couldn’t feel any kind of sensation to suggest stiches or anything of a wound at all. There was some plain white tape covering where the wound was supposed to be and she ripped it off wordlessly. There was absolutely no wound. No evidence of one at all. Her skin only looked mildly irritated from the tape’s sudden removal. Her face began to twist and she felt a wave of panic in her.

“Mulder…how in the hell is this possible?” She felt the urge to scream but she choked and it came out like a whisper.

He lowered himself a touch so he could face her better.

“That’s part of why there was so many doctors, Scully….they don’t know either. They can’t explain it. They ran X-Rays, MRIs, CAT Scans, stuff I can’t even pronounce…but there’s no sign of the injury…they left that tape on there to show where it should have been but…” he gestured to the area of the chest in question, the wound’s disappearance speaking for itself. Tears formed in her eyes and she tried her damn hardest not to let them fall. Mulder held her as she whispered to herself over and over again “No, it can’t be. No no no no no…”

 

_“You don’t.”_

Doctors came and went, telling her that all of her tests were normal. Everything was healthy. They were prepared to do blood transfusions since she had lost so much at the scene and yet she was not in need of it. She had been brought to the hospital on an ambulance who said her vitals went south very quickly which was to be expected since she had been shot in the chest and not from very far away either. Yet once she arrived, she rather quickly was recovering. Her ribs were not broken, her organs not damaged, her blood not lost, and before anyone knew it, her skin not broken. Each doctor uttered the same word at least five times in their conversation with her- a miracle.

She was released the same day as technically there was no proof that she needed to be held even though everyone wanted her to stay just in case. She needed to be out of that bed, out of that hospital, out of Philadelphia as soon as she could but she needed to see something first. Jumping into Mulder’s car, she demanded to be taken to the crime scene unit that had come and collected the evidence. They searched and took her to them. The CSU people were in shock to see Scully alive and absolutely well, fiery even. They gave her everything they had from the scene. Cameras inside and outside the building that showed her and Mulder’s arrival. They showed her being shot from less than 20 feet away by their suspect. Mulder firing quickly and hit him all six times that his gun allowed and threw the gun at the dead body then raced to her side, doing what he could to help keep her alive. It showed the ambulance arriving for her, Mulder refusing to not be taken in with her, holding her hand and speaking to her, though audio was not recorded, as they got on the ambulance and drove away. The last footage on the tapes were of Philadelphia police and CSU coming and going, the final shot being of a CSU woman discovering the camera and pulling it down.

Other than the footage there was not much else for evidence. The tape was all they needed truthfully to show exactly what happened and the other evidences did not point to any other possible way. 6 bullets retrieved from the suspect’s dead body, Mulder’s tossed aside gun, DNA results that came back swiftly because they matched perfectly. Part of the blood on the floor was that of the suspect’s, the majority of it was Scully’s. The bullet that went through her chest, dried blood layered on it now…

This was unreal.

The case was being ultimately filed under some legal terms that basically meant job done, suspect dead, shot agent but will recover and that would be that. The evidence would be put away and not needed ever again. The CSU gave her the bullet and Mulder back his gun. They walked back to the car, Scully feeling like she was on autopilot, numb and detached. They sat back down but he didn’t start it up yet. Instead he stared at her. He had things to say but his words were lost, his tongue heavy. It would be Scully who broke the silence.

“I don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

She traced her thumb over the bullet still in its evidence bag, her right hand reaching to the gold cross around her neck and felt its shape with her right thumb. She shook as she carried on.

“Clyde Bruckman.”

Mulder didn’t argue with her, ask her if she could really believe that nonsense. In fact he didn’t speak at all. He watched her, waited for her. She didn’t speak again, only shook her head for a long period. He finally started up the car and drove back to D.C. Silent for the entire trip, it was only broken when he nudged her softly and said “We’re here.”

He took her to her apartment and walked inside with her. Everything felt small, hot, and heavy, like it was about to suffocate her. Breathing became too difficult and when Mulder started to take her into his arms to reassure her of her safety, she pushed him aside. He took no offense to it but instantly she felt guilty and pulled him to her moments later.

“Do you need anything?” his whisper in her ear made her feel a level of peace that felt unknown and new. Her gaze turned into his.

“He’s throwing himself at you,” she thought as she stared into the emotions in his eyes. “Anything and he’ll give it to you right now.” Pondering, she tried to think of what she needed. A hot bath, a really strong drink, a time machine, a punching bag, a year-long sleep, a metal band drummer playing as fast and hard as possible in the same room as her to make her go deaf and drown her thoughts, a puppy or something cute and small and soft to cuddle with and give her unconditional love, a really filling meal…

Many thoughts of things that would give comfort but nothing was right. Either it literally wasn’t possible like the time machine thought or a gigantic hammer the size of the moon to bash in Clyde Bruckman’s-wherever the hell he was-brains out or it just wouldn’t really give her relief, only the mask of. She knew what she needed and she was afraid to ask it. He read her actions enough to understand she had something on her mind.

“Anything, Scully…” he begged her. He was desperate to aid her and he wanted it to be known. Finding her courage, she spoke.

“You.”

He blinked for a moment, comprehending, then spoke again. “Show me.” Truthfully, she wasn’t sure exactly. She knew his arms around her made her feel safer than she had ever felt in years but she wanted more. Her mind raced and considered. Did she want him in a physical aspect? A mental one? Both? What would the pros and cons of each be? Her analytical mind broke down the most likely scenarios of everything, from small talk to deep talk to dancing to kissing him to even sleeping with him.

“Tell me the truth…not what you think I want to hear, the truth.” She insisted. He nodded and said “Would I ever otherwise?” Those words made her heart skip a beat. It was in an odd way comforting, knowing the only person she truly trusted felt this way. Well, maybe that’s not such an odd comfort but right now it felt out of place despite being necessary.

“Do you love me?” Words were not needed to see the light in his eyes, the dilation in his pupils, the smile break across his face, feel his grip on her tighten as he pulled her closer and held her with more strength.

“More than my own life itself.” She traced her fingers across his face, through his hair, across his neck, just tracing him. A face she could describe with such accuracy there would be no doubt it was him. A face she could picture herself looking in to for the rest of her life.

Or his life.

She swallowed nervously as her mind went back to previous thought of Clyde Buckman and if there was truth to his words. Why the hell would she want to live forever? Yes life is amazing, the world is beautiful, yet it’s not natural to live forever. There comes a time when the body slows, recovers slower, moves slower, reacts slower, everything becomes slow. And then it stops. That was natural. To live forever would be an adventure for sure…but would it be one worth taking? She shook her head fiercely, unaware of her tears until Mulder was wiping them away.

“Say it,” Slipped out her mouth.

“I love you Dana Scully.” He didn’t even blink. He hardly took a breath in to say those words. She felt in his arms his blood racing a little faster than it had been.

“Why?” She expected it to be followed by a long speech along the lines of how his world hasn’t been the same since meeting her, how he lights up his life, how her presence makes everything better. This she expected, entertainment sure enjoyed playing that trope. Instead she got him softly pushing her head, guiding her. She loosened herself to let him guide her which was to his chest, her ear at his heart. It beat loudly and fast.

“When this started happening every time I looked at you, said your name, saw your name come up on my phone, every time I heard your voice, I knew.”

“That’s when…why?” She asked though his answer did shock her and it warmed her simultaneously.

He was thoughtful for a moment and answered “Because you are you…I don’t know if there are any words in any language that can explain it Scully…” He softly encouraged her to look into his eyes. “I know it’s common for people to say they “just clicked” with someone, how once they met them there was an instant connection? It…it started like a click but then…there was more. More clicks. And I thought I must be crazy since we contrast in many ways yet…more and more clicks. My heart started beating faster to the point where I have come to believe my heart beats ONLY for you. And I wanted to tell you…” he stopped talking though Scully felt there was more to say. He finally carried on.

“I was afraid I would lose you. That you’d…find me inappropriate for…feeling this way. That you would leave and demand to never see me again…so I’ve kept it to myself for a long time now…until…” he trailed off again. “I thought I was going to lose you…and have never told you.”

Tears stung at her eyes, threatening to fall like a dam against a rapid river. She felt her heart beat in a strange way that was unfamiliar, was it even technically possible?

“Things will…be…different now Mulder…forever…” she whispered. By forever she technically meant the rest of their lives but as it exited her mouth she remembered.

 

_“How will I die?”_

_“You don’t.”_

 

“What do you mean?” He asked her, chasing away the sudden anxiety. She looked into his eyes and saw his love for her shine. How could she ever live without seeing that light every day? No going back. Only forward, for however long that would be.

“Will you be mine? For…” she started to say forever but had to stop herself. The word was suddenly felt dangerous. “For as long as we have.”

“Yes.” No hesitation. No fear. He held her tighter and slowly brought his face closer to hers. He did so with the intention of looking into her eyes as close as he could but she misread him and kissed him, which he didn’t complain about. Her arms went to his neck, holding him close to her and his arms went even tighter around her waist. Over and over again, one after the next they kissed. They broke apart for breath and he whispered in her ear that he was hers, now and forever. She cringed at the word again but he said it again anyways.

“I mean it Scully. Forever. Afterlife or not…whatever there is beyond us and this world…my love for you will surpass this life and what is next.” He shook as he said these words, tears fell from his eyes. Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck again, holding him in a tight loving embrace. He whispered repeatedly that he loved her and would do any and everything for her, just say it. She whispered her need in his ear and he asked her if she was sure, to which she nodded. Taking his hand, she guided him to her bedroom and laid down on her bed and he next to her. She initiated a series of kisses which he responded to with all his love.

Her fingers gripped his shirt and pulled it off his chest. He propped himself onto his elbows and kissed her. The rest of their clothes fell away. Normally she would have felt so exposed and insecure about having such an intimacy with anyone, in both the physical and mental aspects, but with Mulder that was absent. She knew he saw her body with the upmost highest image of beauty and even better-he saw her soul as the greatest gift the entire world could ever receive. He waited for her to say she was ready. He wouldn’t dare wrong her in any way. He was thanking God with every fiber of his being and ounce of his soul for her. That she was here with him and that she loved him too. The world was not just made whole, it was solid and firmly planted, wholly made and shaped into pure perfection. There would never be an error to Dana Scully. A pure goddess was she and yet she loved him with all his flaws and weak mortal body. She asked for him and he stared into her endlessly beautiful eyes. Oh how he would never tire of those eyes. He was weak to her, unable to resist her every demand and wish. She was his religion, his Goddess, his praise and worship all to her alone, any sacrifice he’d make for her.

“I am eternally yours Dana…”

Her name falling from his lips made her feel weak and if she had been standing she was sure she would have fallen. Her name never felt as special as it did now, its sound felt like home. How a sound could feel like home was beyond her yet it indeed filled her with that comfort feeling that one could only get from arriving home after being away for so long. A stronger form of comfort in fact. It was difficult for her mind to find the right words or phrases. Finally she just allowed herself to stop thinking and looked at the face of the man beside her, eager to serve her like she was a queen and he a smitten servant boy.

“Oh Fox…” his name, first name, fell with such an ease that she wasn’t aware she said it until the sparkle in his eyes changed. She felt a pang of worry if perhaps that was too much at once or somehow made him uncomfortable. He closed his eyes, exhaled heavily and…moaned? He opened his eyes back up and when they met hers, there was a greater light to them.

“That you would say my name with such love…” A single tear fell and she wiped it away.

“So we are on a first name basis now Mulder?” she teased. He kissed her cheek and told her she could call him anything she wanted and he would her too.

“Your name is so special though. Why would I want to call you anything else…Fox?” she asked softly. He shuddered and kissed her. Lips locked, they kissed more with increasing passion and she whispered in his ear that she was ready for him.

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They gasped heavily for breath, his feeling hot against her neck. She had never truly made love in such a way before. In fact, she dared to think that this was the first time she ever truly “made love” rather than had sexual intercourse. His arms held her down in a protective, loving way rather than an actual restraint way.

“Mulder?” He perked right up and kissed her before she could say another word. “Please…move in with me,” came her request. Gosh would those eyes of him fail to shine any brighter? His face split into an enormous grin and asked her “By when?”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone and thank you for reading my story. I do hope this first chapter is interesting enough and paced correctly. It is a little on the short side I apologize, my normal chapter length will be higher as I get more written and refined properly. This fic is going to have times of sadness and agony, times of cheesy romance, some semi-graphic smut dropped here and there, a lot of language and questioning everything. I do hope you will stick around for it. I have never written an Immortal character or Immortal + Mortal characters fic before so this is kind of intended as a challenge for myself to do so and become good at it. Lots of AU and creative licenses taken here since it'll go far into the future and I gotta change some things for story's sake. Anyway, thank you again for having read thus far. Until next time.


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